Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

The last few days can be described in three terms: Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll
...

except, actually neither sex, nor drugs, nor rock and roll really happened.

More of work, food, and a many drunken hazes of really awesome happenings. As such, I'm just gonna have to bullet-point it

1. Wednesday- pretty much (un)official ladies night throughout all of Shanghai. aka if you are a female, you walk into a club, pay no cover, waltz in, go to the open bar, and order every and anything you want FOR ABSOLUTELY FREE. It boggled my mind.
2. So Wednesday- we went to Tanghui VIP room. They advertised free manicures, and what do you know? They ACTUALLY had a free manicure station at the front door of the club!
3. They also advertised that if a guy came in with 4 girls (aka "queens"), he would become crowned "king" and get a free bottle of champagne. We only had three girls. Try as we may, we were unable to woo a rando girl to come be our 4th queen, and alas, were unable to get our free bottle of champagne
4. Lots of hot girls sitting around the bar being super anti-social on their cellphones
5. turned out that they were probably prostitutes or just hired to sit there to make the club look more crowded
6. I wondered how it's possible they don't lose money when girls can just walk in and drink unlimited alcohol
7. Had a vodka shot from the open bar. Worst. Thing. Ever. It was basically a cross between dog piss and nail polish remover.
8. They randomly had male models (read: really skinny asian guys with really asian hair) walk on stage and there was a mini fashion show... except they were all wearing the same thing
9.The bathrooms were fricken awesome. They were a cross between a shiny disco ball and a time machine. I thought I was gonna take off to a different era or something whilst taking a piss
10. Thursday night= recuperate from Wednesday
11. Friday- French wedding dinner at the restaurant.
12. Afterwards, got on my co-workers motorcycle vespa thing- crazy. I had never been on a motorbike before
13. Went to a Light graffitti party at Club Tipsy. They advertised free crepes and open bar.
14. Got there too late for crepes
15. Pounded the open bar
16. Came back and were all super sloppy- ate 2 huge things of ramen
17. Woke up the next there and there was dried ramen all over the floor.
18. Yesterday- Really long walk to the bund.
19. Visited the marriage market!- where old people post up resumes of their adult children and try and arrange marriages for their kids
20. Unlimted sushi ordering buffet + Bar hopping with Yale Alums. Super full. Any alcohol was absorbed by massive amounts of sushi residing in my belly
21. Afterwards, went to Mint. Was bought many drinks- discovered my new favorite: Belvediere on the Rocks + lemon+ hint of sugar.
22. French Pussy= really good
23. There was a baby shark tank at the club!
24. There was also glass roof. I looked up and asked why it was light out. It was 4:30 am.
25. Decided it was a good idea to go out to the Bund by the water. Watched old people fly kites and job slowly by.
26. Wondered why the fuck people get up at 5 on a Sunday morning
27. Got home at 5:30 and conked out
28. Today- got a free mani and pedi on Yale's tab!
29. Made a really good dinner with peeps. Everything made from scractch!
30. I really like mustard. Dijon mustard.
31. We decided our next endeavor is to make a huge rotisserie so we can roast a pig on our balcony.